You know that feeling that you get, when you see the perfect red dress hanging in the store window and your hand instantaneously reaches for your wallet…?

Well, that’s not what it’s like when I go into a store.

When I go into a store and see the perfect red dress with a price tag that’s way too expensive, I immediately turn to the other dress that’s hanging on the 70% sale rack.

There’s no tug of war between my heart and my credit card – I don’t even own one, let alone know what an overdraft is except for the red minus signs that I see on other people’s accounts.

And that’s where my problem is.

I’m a NON-shopaholic. Which means I have trouble parting with my money.

Which means that I never buy anything I like even if it makes my heart skip a beat.

I never have spontaneous but thrilling shopping sprees that leave me feeling guilty afterwards.

I have nothing cool to show off to my friends, no style, no periods of experimentation.

I’ve even resorted to cutting my own hair which has made one side look longer than the other.

And I don’t know how to stop.

Because I am turning myself into a friggin’ bland frog.

Apparently, when people like my mum see me, they see “a girl who could look so much better if only she tried to dress up once in a while.”

“But I’m afraid that I will run out of money and become poor and homeless for the rest of my dying days,” is the excuse I always give.

Most people think that people who overspend have no idea how to handle their finances. But you know what I think? That people like me who never spend have no clue about money either, or are too afraid to make any decisions about money.

But I have really been thinking hard about the consequences of such obsessive saving. That in the end, I will not get to enjoy a full life, or even my best life.

Because think about it. If I always exchange that perfect red dress for the cheaper, uglier one, then I might as well be telling myself that I am only worth 70% of the best thing there is out there.

And sometimes, life’s too short for ugly clothes.